You're Not Alone: Why Disturbing Thoughts Don’t Make You a Bad Person
"Why did I just think that?" If you’ve ever had a thought that shocked you, scared you, or made you question your sanity—you’re not alone.
Intrusive thoughts are a common, human experience. Yet when they happen, they can feel anything but normal. Especially if you’re someone who’s used to being in control, high-functioning, and capable, these thoughts can shake your confidence and leave you feeling ashamed, confused, or even scared of your own mind.
Let me say this clearly: intrusive thoughts do not mean you’re crazy, dangerous, or broken. They’re just thoughts. And while they might feel intense or upsetting, they don’t define who you are.
What are intrusive thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, distressing thoughts, images, or urges that pop into your mind out of nowhere. They’re often violent, sexual, blasphemous, or just completely out of character.
You might think:
What if I pushed someone in front of a train?
What if I dropped my baby?
What if I touched something contaminated and now I’ll get sick?
What if I did something terrible and just can’t remember it?
These thoughts feel sticky because they come with fear and urgency. And for someone struggling with OCD, they often lead to compulsions like checking, seeking reassurance, avoiding certain situations, or mentally reviewing events to “make sure” nothing bad happened.
But here’s the truth: most people experience intrusive thoughts. The difference is that people with OCD tend to assign meaning to them—believing they say something important about who they are or what they might do.
Spoiler: they don’t.
You are not your thoughts
Imagine your mind like a radio constantly playing in the background. Sometimes it plays top hits, sometimes weird static. You don’t choose every station—but you can choose how you respond.
That’s where mindfulness and skills-based strategies can help. One approach I often use with clients is DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), which offers practical tools for dealing with distressing thoughts and emotions.
3 Practices to Cope with Intrusive Thoughts
1. Observe the thought without judgment (Mindfulness Skill)
Notice the thought without trying to push it away or latch onto it. You might say, “Oh, there’s that thought again.” Just like clouds in the sky or cars on a road, thoughts can come and go. You don’t have to chase them down or give them meaning.
2. Use "TIPP" to regulate intense distress (Distress Tolerance Skill)
When intrusive thoughts create a flood of anxiety, try:
Temperature: Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice cube.
Intense exercise: Do 20 jumping jacks or go for a brisk walk.
Paced breathing: Slow your exhale to calm your nervous system.
Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and release muscles to release tension.
These can quickly reduce your body’s panic response, making it easier to stay grounded.
3. Radical Acceptance (Distress Tolerance Skill)
This doesn’t mean you like the thoughts—it means you stop fighting their existence. Fighting intrusive thoughts often gives them more power. Saying, “Okay, my brain is offering me this thought right now. I don’t like it, but I accept that it’s here,” allows you to move through it instead of getting stuck.
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Intrusive thoughts can feel terrifying, but they’re not a reflection of your values, intentions, or identity. With the right support and tools, they can become just another part of the human experience—one you no longer need to fear.
If you’re ready to stop suffering silently and start getting the support you deserve, therapy for OCD can help. You don’t have to navigate this alone.